Babies Part 1: Pregnancy

Babies Part 1: Pregnancy
Photo by Omar Lopez / Unsplash

Congratulations! It's a weird and wild time. I remember distinctly when we first found out and our brain's first reaction was "Our parents are going to kill us... wait this is fine."

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Let’s talk about the elephant in the room - miscarriages. They do happen, and they can be super heartbreaking. It’s totally okay to be cautiously excited and keep things under wraps until you feel more confident. But don’t let your fears and doubts get the best of you. Family, friends, and professionals are here to listen if you want, or to distract you if that’s what you need. And guess what? We’ve had four miscarriages along the way to having our kids. The process is tough, and the conversation can be tough, but there are so many people willing to help if you can overcome the initial struggle.

With that out of the way, let's get to the fun part!

Tracking

I'm a big tracking person, I love to keep an eye on things and see where things are at any given moment. For that we made heavy use of Ovia Pregnancy.

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None of these apps are going to win any awards on their privacy focus, but this generally comes down to how comfortable you are with that data being out there.
‎Ovia Pregnancy & Baby Tracker
‎Expecting? Watch your baby grow every day with Ovia Pregnancy! Ovia’s personalized approach to tracking your baby’s development gives you an app as unique as your pregnancy. NEW feature! My baby names: We’re so excited to help you keep track of your favorite baby names (and hopefully find a winne…

I liked the weekly animal / fruit / etc size comparisons from Ovia and the way it organized information.

Learning

Online

Taking Cara babies had some really good tricks for us on getting our babies to sleep, and feel more comfortable understanding why they were doing what they were doing.

Taking Cara Babies
Online sleep classes and resources for newborns through age four. We help babies sleep better so families can thrive.

Books

The first thing I did was immediately start trying to learn everything I could, and in the end I settled on a goal of being as prepared as I can be... to be unprepared. Adrian Kulp speaks to it very well in his forward in We're Parents! The First-Time Dad's Guide to Baby's First Year.

"What if I told you the biggest test of your life was something you could never ace, no matter how hard you studied? That you'll fail many times, even if you read every possible book and take thousands of pages of notes? But that you absolutely should still try anyway? Welcome to parenthood! It's the single most important thing you'll ever do, and one that you will never, ever, be perfect at." - Adrian Kulp

No amount of books, or talking to friends and family can possibly prepare you for everything you will experience or encounter. Many folks joke that babies don't come with an instruction manual, and genuinely that's because every single baby is different and you will have to figure out what works for you.

I feel that this learning phase very much comes down to stocking your toolbox with tricks and resources: many will get frequent use, some you will never use, and some that will randomly pop in your mind at 2AM and be exactly what you needed.

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be

This information was fun for me to read, as well as share information with Sydney. It did a great job of breaking the pregnancy down month by month and sharing what is going on with mom, baby, and for me.

Amazon

What to Expect When You're Expecting

Sydney loved reading through this book, similarly to "The Expectant Father" it breaks things down in to bite sized chunks that felt pretty well timed to the questions we were asking.

Amazon

There are plenty more books, and possibly I may recommened some more, but that was a good start for us.

Names

We had a ton of fun on this, there are books, websites, and even apps that can help you discover names. We found that we were often strongly influenced by each other's input and one app had an interesting solution for that.

‎BabyName - find it together
‎Babyname is the new way for you and your partner to find the perfect name for your baby. It’s a fun & easy solution for busy couples to connect with each other no matter where they are and find the perfect name for their newborn. How it works? Connect with your partner and swipe through baby nam…

Once you and your partner are matched up you can swipe left or right on names and be notified when both of you agree on a name, it led to some interesting discussions.

Name Tests

These are mostly just for fun, but here are a few of the tests we used when deciding if a name would work.

The Shout Test

Do their names roll off the tongue nicely when you are shouting it across the house?

Ethel / Gertrude Test

Apologies to anyone named Ethel or Gertrude that take offence at this next section.

We liked quite a few of the more classic names, but wanted to draw a line somewhere. Sydney had the Ethel test, and I had the Gertrude test. In my entire life I have never met a living Gertrude, I have however met several cows named Gertrude, ergo I will not be naming my child after a cow.

Themes

For our girls we went with a more traditional set:

  • Charlotte
  • Elizabeth
  • Madeleine

When picking for Madeleine we had to rule out a number of nice names that just didn't fit the "theme" we had established (I use that word loosly).

Baby Registry

What do I need to get?

When getting ready for the new baby there are a million things you will want / need from car seat, stroller, to baby monitors. There are some categories where investing a bit more will pay dividends, and some that make no sense to spend a dollar more than you have to.

Car Seat

The two categories we focused on were safety and ease of install / transfer. This also plays some role in the Stroller selection as you will likely want to be able to pop the infant seat in the stroller.Britax B-Safe Infant Car Seat with Anti-Rebound Bar - This seat had pretty high safety ratings, and offered a nice anti-rebound bar feature for bonus safety.Britax One4Life ClickTight All-in-One - While this claims it will work for infants, we waited on this one until it was time to move our oldest out of the infant carrier.Diono Radian 3QXT+ - This popped up on our radar recently as we consider how in the world will we fit 3 car seats in the back seat of a car...While you are here you should consider a car seat mirror. 

Stroller

This section will largely depend on your budget and lifestyle, we sort of enjoyed having one smaller stroller (travel) and one larger nicer stroller (and for jogging).BOB Gear Revolution Flex 3.0 Jogging Stroller - The ride on this is so smooth, its hard to transition back to the smaller ones since they get stuck on pebbles where this one is willing to climb mountains. That said its the size of a mountain.Mockingbird - This stroller system came up on our radar recently as we have been thinking about how / if we want to be able to transport 3 kids. It looks like a reasonable option for a non jogger.Doona Seat & Stroller - This was something we had an eye on but never landed on. Depending on your situation could be a nice infant sized stroller.

Baby Carrier

Having the option to carry the little ones on our chest or back is huge, especially in cases where a stroller isn't feasible. Additionally for newborns this closeness is great for bonding.Moby Wrap - This was tricky to get the hang of wrapping and tying, but was a nice cheap carrier for newborn days.LÍLLÉbaby Complete or BabyBjorn One Carrier - Both of these more complete carriers are breathable and light, and have tons of flexiblity for how to carry even toddlers.

Baby Monitor

We were very interested in being able to keep an eye on the baby in her crib, and invested in the Nanit breathing system. Word of warning, it does come with a subscription model for some of the advanced features.Nanit Baby MonitorHaving the comfort of knowing that Nanit is monitoring baby's breathing overnight, and letting us know if there is a problem was a big comfort for us. In using the Nanit for two kids so far across probably 3 years of breathing monitoring we have only had maybe 3 false alarms from the band being too loose.We love being able to see and hear the little ones via our phone, and although our oldest has graduated to not use breathing monitoring we still use it to see if she's awake or not. Additionally babysitters / grandparents / etc can be invited to help monitor the little ones if they are watching them while you are away.You have a variety of mounting options when it comes to Nanit, we generally use the wall mount with the flex mount for travel, but they also have a floor stand if the crib is likely to move or isn't against a wall.We had considered a product like the Owlet socks, but had heard some horror stories from friends about too many false alarms from the sock falling off and not registering a signal. This easily could have been mis-use or something that they addressed in a more recent release, but we have been extremely happy with the Nanit.

Crib

Sydney is a very light sleeper, and we knew this would present an issue if we tried doing a bassinet in our bedroom for the little one because she would literally never sleep.So we opted for both girls to basically immediately get them in to their crib in the nursery and just monitor via the Nanit. Your mileage may vary, but this was a huge success for us, and is our plan for baby number 3.Also wow, settling on a crib style that both Sydney and I liked was a nightmare. She very strongly wanted something more classic with curves and design, where I wanted something simple and symmetrical.Graco Remi All-in-One Convertible - This style was what we settled on, and while the attached table / drawers were great in theory we definitely wouldn't choose to buy it again. If we were to do it all again we'd just stick with a convertible crib on its own and a large dresser that we could use for changing and storage.Newton Baby Mattress - This very nearly warranted it's own category, but I'll give it an honorable mention here. The breathable, washable, and firm mattress for the crib were a huge success. Bonus tip we stacked sheet, waterproof cover, and sheet so any time we had a messy accident in the middle of the night we could just pop off the cover and sheet and put the kiddo back to sleep with no drama.

Nursery Accessories

Cool Mist Humidifier - We run humidifiers for both girls which especially helps when they aren't feeling well or have a stuffy nose. Takes a bit of maintenance and filling but it's totally worth it.Wipe Warmer - Unless you want to be peed on, babies don't love cold wipes.Muslins - You are going to want a bunch of these, they make great light blankets, and are great at cleaning up baby messes.Swaddles & Sleep Bag - Even if you don't go the Nanit route, you definitely will want to pick up swaddles for infants and or sleep bags for them as they get a bit older.

Kitchen Accessories

Bottle Variety Pack - Start with variety since you don't know what baby will like. Start with Slow Flow or Stage 1 to help prevent them from deciding bottles are easier than breastfeeding.Bottle Drying Rack - Easier drying.Bottle Brush - Better cleaning.Baby Brezza Food Maker - This won't be super useful until 6 months, but has been huge for us. Quick fun story, many commercial baby foods have kind of spooky levels of things like arsenic, lead, and mercury... as such it's safer for us to make our own baby food. This food maker helps steam and blend food that can then be frozen in to "food cubes" or stored in jars until needed.High Chair - This particular high chair has been very flexible especially as we now have two kiddos. Being able to mix and match the chair and the booster seat have been great as its grown with the girls and our family.Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced - If you end up needing to go the formula route, this seems like a lifesaver. We haven't needed this ourselves, but it comes with some massive recommendations on ease of mixing and warming formula bottles.

Bath Accessories

Whale Bath - This lasted for a good while before the kiddos could sit up on their own in the full bath.Blooming Bath Flower Pad - This didn't get a ton of mileage, but was definitley nice for the first few months of bathing the infant.Spout Whale Cover - Cute and saves them from bonking their heads.Head Scrubber - Baby dandruff and cradle cap needs some scrubbing, and this was a nice solution.

Travel / Around the House

Pack 'n Play - Having a portable crib that we can take to grandparents houses, or on vacation has been a life-saver. You could also consider something like the Guava Family Lotus Travel Crib.Mini Crib Mattress - I'm about to make a recommendation that goes against their safety recommendations, but I think its safe enough anyway. This is an amazing addition to the pack 'n play and is a familiar sleeping surface for travel. They recommend only using it in ridged sided mini-cribs, but what can I say, we are rebels.

Ryan Bridge
Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Read more in Part 2